"I miss Grandma Ellen, it doesn't feel like a family without her."
"Aww, that's ni-"
"It doesn't feel like a family without her computer." - an exchange between me and Eli where I almost thought Eli was expressing a nice feeling about another human being.
"Are you chewing a piece of that board game?"
"No, I'm just chewing a tire. It's my favorite bubble gum." - Me talking to Zeb, the house ogre.
Memo to my kids - STOP BEING SPORADICALLY CHEWING GARBAGE EVERY TIME I TURN MY HEAD AWAY FROM YOU FOR FIVE SECONDS!
Necessary ingredients that must be present in order for Zeb to actually fall asleep during his nap:
- The time is between 12:30PM and 3PM
- Zeb has been outside at some point, preferably exercised for at least half an hour at a playground
- (MOST IMPORTANT) Zeb is tired but has not actually closed his eyes and fallen asleep, not for even thirty seconds in the car ride back from the playground. Even if he spent an hour and a half solid sprinting up and down a football field in the blazing hot sun, if his eyes close on the way back from the park for longer than a blink, he's up until bedtime. Cranky as hell, but up.